A KP Narrative ! I lost my good Kashmiri Muslim Friend ,My advice would be not to discuss Kashmir at all
I was in the same situation a few years ago when I had a heated argument with one of my very good friend from Kashmir. I am a Kashmiri Pandit and I have my own narrative to the whole Kashmir issue while my friend being a Kashmiri Muslim had a totally different point of view towards it.
Trust me, you may throw as many facts as you want, but your friend won’t change his stand. And it isn’t even his fault. A child is born and right from his childhood he is fed that India has forcefully occupied our territory and Indian army is our enemy. The child doesn’t ask why. He simply believes in it.
Now this child grows up and develops a hatred towards India. After his 12th, he takes admission in an Indian university and Government of India gives special scholarships to him, but he still hates India.
This is probably the first time he has gone out of Kashmir and now loves the new place. During his college life, he sees new things like malls, movie theaters, McDonald’s and Dominos which are far from existence in Kashmir.(The last movie theater in Kashmir was closed down in 1990 by Muslim groups as it was considered unislamic)
He enjoys his new life in this city and changes a lot during this time. But one thing that remains unchanged is his hate for India. He enjoys freedom in India and feels captured by India the moment he goes back home for vacations.
Now comes the time when the college is about to end. The lifestyle of this person has changed drastically in the last four years and he knows that life isn’t this ‘free’ back home. He finds a job and goes to some Indian metro city and works there. Ask him about his views towards India now. A word won’t have changed from what he said on the very first day when he came from Kashmir.
So there isn’t much you can do. This is how Kashmiris have learnt to remain important to India. Treat him as your younger brother who cries when he wants something from the parents. He has found out his way to get things done this way.
My advice would be not to discuss Kashmir at all. That is what I did with my friend. We used to discuss everything in the world but not Kashmir. And we are best friends now.
He lives happily in an ‘Indian city’ now and still hates India. I still love my country and am proud that my country even accommodates people who say that they ‘hate’ it.